Emma, you fool

I just saw Bon Iver. Having been warned that they had the stage presence of corrugated cardboard, my expectations were low. But they rocked. They rocked! In fact, by El Scorcho’s description, I’m not convinced he actually saw Bon Iver. I didn’t detect any overt Swedishness, main man Justin Vernon played several guitars, and it was easy to understand him. I may be biased because I want to jump the drummer, Sean Carey, but I don’t think so. They were good. My favorite song was The Wolves (Act I and II) because it ended with an instrumental freak out, with a particularly athletic performance on the drums. I might as well turn this into an installment of who would I do and a hat. Sean Carey, I would do you. Come back to Iowa City soon. I have a hunch you smell good. I’ll make you pancakes. Even your name is hot. Sean Carey. I wonder how often you google yourself, Sean Carey, Sean Carey.

You can just barely see him here at about 1:13. At least I think that’s him. Give them another chance, Madison. They’re playing your town next Friday. Only $10.

Oh, and the hat. My second floppiest. Penultimate flop.

I do still have more winter hats to share, but I couldn’t bring myself to put one on since it was 100% spring today.

Who would I do and a hat #5.

I lost my camera battery two weeks ago because I am less responsible when I’m wearing a mustache. I’m going to have to limp along here until I invest in either a new battery or a new camera.

I bought this hat after a job interview for a job I didn’t get. It’s an appropriate one to paint rather than photograph because I can’t find it, but that’s what it looks like. That’s not really what I look like. That looks like Frodo Baggins. Also pictured is my dead camera.

Now that that’s out of the way, who would I do?

Andrew Bird. I tried to aim a little higher this time because my choices have been disturbing people. He’s a mean whistler. And I hear he has a big phonograph.

Who would I do and a hat #4.

Fourth installment of who would I do and a hat.

First, a bucket hat.

I think this hat is a little bit The Hamburgler, but my nephew L. said it made me look French and I won’t argue.

And now, who would I do?

Ted Levine, aka Captain Leland Stottlemeyer from Monk. I think it’s the mustache. And his deep mumbly voice. Here he is talking about what it would be like if we met at a bar. That is unfortunate.

Who would I do and a hat #3.

The third installment of who would I do and a hat.

The hat.

This one is best for snowball fights. The classy scarf is a new Target purchase.

Who would I do?

Bill Withers, circa 1972. Any man who can rock a turtleneck can rock me, too. Here he is singing Ain’t No Sunshine (caution: clicking that link will melt your insides).

Who would I do and a hat #2.

The second installment of who would I do and a hat.

Another hat.

This is the first hat I acquired in my current collection. The colors are drab and it’s shapeless but it worked well with long hair. It’s the one I sleep in when my apartment is really cold because it’s so comfy.

Now, who would I do?

Another Canadian, Michael Buble (boob-lay). I just want to jump him. He is often played in Italian restaurants and on my iPod. I swoon for his croon. When I say I like chubby boys, he is what I am talking about. Are you wondering why his back-up music ranges from truly musical to on par with Celine Dion? Me, too. Maybe his producer is a functioning alcoholic. Here is Bouble singing Spider Man with his ultra hot mouth. Uh oh. My internet research has uncovered mommy issues. He’s still attractive when I watch that on mute so he stays.