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Look what I didn’t kill

23 Jul

My first hate note!

20 Jun

This was followed by a verbal confrontation.

Seeking new music

16 Jun

I finally followed this formula to calculate my play density! I lost all of my play count data when my computer died last November, so no one can mock me for having Jesus Take The Wheel in my top 25 anymore. It turns out listening to albums on repeat makes a boring list. But I think #36 — part three of an Agatha Christie mystery — makes it worth sharing. Apparently it took eight listens to figure out who killed everyone.

Proof.

12 Jun

Analog revival

14 Mar

Many months ago I put the blog aside to focus on achieving a job. Many months later, my unemployment still looms and there is but a sliver of internet television I have not seen. I lost my way.  Let’s just start the healing.

There is plenty to catch you up on (like Seasons 1-2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have a crush on Xander.), but let’s start with the best thing about 2010 so far: the mail addressed to me. Beautiful packages and they’re all mine.

Exhibit A

Hemingway. Who knit that tiny sweater? Probably his first wife while he was out getting drunk with his second wife. Artists can be such assholes.

Exhibit B

A Venn diagram. An Agatha Christie mystery (poor, sensitive Hastings). And a sweater for my French press! Cinnamon Tingle’s package was perfectly timed. I had been meaning to do something nice for my French press because it is so good to me. I wasn’t so hot at making coffee in the recent past, which I now surmise was the only thing between me and a caffeine addiction. But then Heidi came into my life for five glorious months and she taught me the secret of adulthood. This morning, like every morning, I experienced near-paralysis as I lay in bed and tried to coach myself up and into the kitchen to put the kettle on and prepare the cup that will end my suffering. It’s such a long walk.

Exhibit C

So far my studies revealed that Satan tried to tempt Christ with a powerboat, but Christ had none of it.

A this picture on page 43…

reminds me of this picture:

Exhibits D-G

Postcards + one cute note from my parents that came with gaiters. I did enjoy my winter walks. One day I came across this adorable scene. One snowperson conducting an enthusiastic chorus of snowpeople.

And the very next day, I rounded the bend and everyone’s ass had been kicked. Did Glee teach you nothing?

Exhibits E-F

Cats and dogs. In which my born-cool cousin invites me to Santa Barbara. Do you have a cousin in Santa Barbara?

Exhibit G

A drawing from another cousin. I think that’s a penguin in the box.

Exhibit H

Fitflops! After a few weeks in these, I’m supposed to be able to push a grocery cart in hot pants.

I’m buried in love here. I know it and my postal carrier knows it.

Let me show you something gross

1 Jul

They’ve been moving some furniture around in the library and today I walked by a row of upside-down tables just like this one. COVERED IN GUM.

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Is your faith in humanity appropriately rattled? This plus the booger incident is proof that communism can never succeed.

Who is doing this? Is it you? If these crimes are ever prosecuted, you’re going to feel really dumb about leaving your DNA and a perfect finger print at the scene.

Welcum to Breakfast Scrabble

30 Apr

We introduced a Portlander to Breakfast Scrabble last weekend. He had a similar version called Inappropriate Scrabble, but house rules, you know? Or un-rules, I guess. He is taking it back to Portland, where Sweater Thursday has already taken root. I just know when I someday make it to Portland, there will be a welcoming committee waiting to hug me and and hand me a Voo-Doo donut.

Action item: what’s your favorite play?

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