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What’s on her Special K Protein Plus?

12 Jul

Welcome to my bistro

11 Jul

This is my new patio. I am currently serving strawberry-basil-vodka-lemonade. The instructions are pretty much revealed in the title, but I know you want to replicate this scene so I will keep sharing.

1. Get a patio.

2. Get a crummy book which you are skimming to finish.

3. Throw a pint of strawberries in the blender, or the closest thing you have to a blender.

4. Muddle a handful of basil with a couple of strawberries and some Tanqueray* vodka. And some lemon juice if your lemon isn’t rotten. My approach to muddling is that it’s just like it sounds.

5. To a container you can drink out of, combine one part vodka muddle with one part strawberry puree. Fill with lemonade. Add ice if your freezer makes ice. Mine does not.

6. Take a sip. Say “This ain’t boozy enough,” outloud to no one, and add more vodka. Add basil, too, to make that last step seem like a culinary decision.

7. Sit, drink, pretend to read.

*because that’s what Darcy drinks

Striving for compelling content

1 Jun

I need something to replace Sweater Thursday. I will be experimenting with some new regular features to see what sticks. This one is called: What’s on her oatmeal?

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Happy May 5!

5 May

Today I came home to an impromptu dinner and a gorgeous woman put a beer in my hand and asked me how my day was. Fried plantains, fancy tacos, queso. All I did was show up. It kind of makes you mourn the break down of traditional marriage roles.

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My special day

31 Jan

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[Card courtesy of the nerdess]

I had a birthday last week. I have 28 years now. If I were to graph trends related to getting older, one of the factors on an upward sweep at this point is the baking skills of my friends. I have fond memories of the box cakes in college, but lime-coconut cupcakes from scratch? Expert blueberry pie, still warm? A noble attempt at profiteroles despite being short a few ingredients? I’m feeling good about this.

Another upward trend: the resourcefulness of my friends. I got some good loot. Highlights follow.

A book of postcards…

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with such gems as…

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Documented underboob, which I immediately turned into a magnet to keep the other chick company on the fridge. I now have an underboob collection. I imagine it will grow.

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A check from my sister with this memo: For rat film production.

ART.

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I know. It’s amazing. He sneers at me while I make coffee in the morning. And because of a mirror on the opposite wall, he does it again when I walk in the front door.

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W and The Kee made the long cold journey to my city and state and I finally got in on the ground floor of some of their inside jokes. Most the activities I planned for us fell through. I made them promise to go snowshoeing no matter how cold it was but at -7F it was, in fact, too cold. The Miss America Pageant viewing I had lined up for Saturday night was a bust because my landlords canceled the cable. Luckily there was plenty of entertainment to be had from the Kee’s new snuggie to fill the void.

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Another positive: because they were maybe getting a little stir-crazy, they were more receptive to bad ideas, like giving Whitney a faux hawk. At one point it looked as bad as this.

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He stressed out a tiny bit but at some point, though it never really got much better, he seemed to change his mind about it. Here is he completely at home with his pony hawk.

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My tree-house apartment seems almost too big without them, but I find comfort in the empty snuggie box and the puddle of human hair on my porch.

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Sweater Thursday XXXVIII

16 Jan

cimg5003-copyI chose my warmest sweater for the coldest day. It’s kind of weirdly shrunken and big at the same time and rides way up in the back. Sometimes I get too bold with the washing machine.

I made people come over for dinner just to break in my new TV trays. Katie gave them to me for Christmas, I think inspired by this post from over a year ago. Amazing. I can’t stop being excited about them. And I think my table manners are bound to improve with my plate off my lap. Just look how happy Cinnamon Tingle is with the eating arrangements. Or it’s the brand new coffee-bean-cabled-turtleneck sweater. Or she is humoring me so she can get back to her wine.

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I made polenta for my guests and I was feeling pretty good about it when that first picture was taken but it turned out later I forgot two ingredients, including the cheese. Ug. When have I ever forgotten the cheese? But fried up and broiled with cheese on top? Good enough.

I know it’s boring to talk about the weather but let’s go back to that part. Today was negative twenty something degrees. That means my overheated apartment is probably exactly 100 degrees warmer than the snowscape outside.

Some math:

78F – -22F = 100 (Remember subtraction with negative numbers? It’s a little tricky.)

It’s just so… cold. And I want Heidi to know I wore tights today (2 pairs) and I’m still smug about it.

Sweater Thursday XXXII

27 Nov

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Happy Sweater Thursday Annual Thanksgiving Edition! This was my first orphan feast (well, the second if you count the tofu dome feast on Tuesday*), and it was amazing.

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Cheese, guacamole, orange ruffy, roasted root vegetables, mashed potatoes, tomato curry, rolls, beets which were forgotten about and never consumed. I imagine at this point in your Thanksgiving celebration you no longer want to talk about food and have moved on to napping and groaning. That’s about where I am too, but I predict that in about thirty minutes I’ll find some room for apple pie, ginger pumpkin cheesecake, and Peaberry coffee.

*I must show you the beautiful tofu dome molded by cinnamon tingle.

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And my apple pie, snapped just after I, in an attempt to pose with it, poured its juices all over my shoes. Hence my accusatory glance.

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[Updated to add:] A late submission from NNW. Argyle! Note the classic sweater-bicycle combo.

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