Archive | March, 2008

Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!

28 Mar



Sweater Thursday XXII.

27 Mar


I chose this white cardigan to go with my new Leslie Hall shirt because I think it makes the blood-stained teeth really pop.

I am back in Iowa City now but just barely. Even with a new battery and a new alternator ($500 if you’re keeping track), that low battery light haunted me most of the way home. And I’m not sure but I think my car is about to barf up a transmission, too. I don’t think the RPM needle should be cranking up and down while it idles.

When your car is a lemon, make JUICE.

24 Mar


I’m stranded in Madison until my car is fixed. Let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about the huge favor Whitney did me when he left my headlights on.

I don’t think my battery would have survived the trip under any circumstances. My alternator is “toast.” So I got an extra night in Madison instead of in a corn field. Also, according to a barrage of Hawk Alerts and phone calls from my parents, there’s a gunman running around Iowa City today. His license plate is 501 BLO which the text-reader in the early morning phone call pronounced as 501 “blow.” Is it okay if I think that part is funny?

[ETA: Turns out it was a sad sad thing. How can money/shame matter that much? Go ahead and kill yourself if you have to, but let your family fend for themselves. I’m sure they could have managed without you.]

Instead of stalling in a corn field or hiding from a killer:

I went for a run with Whitney and we worked on our heel clicks. Well on our way to America’s Best Dance Crew. [Next step: Master lady flips.]

We hit the Easter candy. I taught him to apply Robin’s Eggs like lip gloss.


Then we finished the NY Times crossword puzzle. Sunday edition! Damn!

I don’t want to talk about it.

23 Mar


Sweater Thursday XXI.

20 Mar

Today is the birthday of the father of the zip cardigan, Mr. Fred Rogers.* I encourage you to wear a sweater every Thursday, but today the entire city of Pittsburgh is behind me.

I hope you heed the call. As Mr. McFeely says, it doesn’t have to have a zipper down the front, it just has to be special.

If he were still with us, Mr. Rogers would be 80 years old. Fred and I have several things in common. We are both Presbyterians from Pittsburgh, and at one time, we both lived next door to Mr. McFeely, the mailman featured in that clip. (Actually, my family moved away from him before I was born so that doesn’t really count. Perhaps it is only family legend that he would come to Katie and Meghan’s birthday parties loaded with presents, shouting, “Speedy delivery! Speedy delivery!”)

This morning I zipped up a cardigan in his honor.


It has pockets.


In a few hours I will be on the road to Madison, WI. If nothing goes horribly wrong, I will indulge in the ultimate Sweater Thursday treat: Leslie Hall, the gem sweater lady, live at High Noon Saloon! If you’re in Iowa City this weekend, see her at the Picador on Friday.

My wool-blended heart is soggy and swollen with all this sweater love.

*Thanks to Martha and Letizia (happy birthday yesterday!) for the heads up.

Car drama update

18 Mar

I finally took my car to the mechanic this morning. The door problem has been solved. Apparently it just got “a little caterwompus” due to the weather. I hope they don’t charge a lot for caterwompus. And I hope they can fix the battery in time for Girls Gone Wild Madison ’08.

Out of the closet

13 Mar

Chris wants to share this with you because who doesn’t enjoy a good porn session horn section?