Archive | December, 2007

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

30 Dec

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My second Secret Santa present arrived just after we finished second Christmas with my sister and her family. Though my dog Bart was able to overpower him to gnaw at his feathers, this rooster, like all roosters, is one tough s.o.b. His special skill is pecking at your eyes. Do not mess with him. I have loved chickens since 2005. I think I will put him on a shelf over my bed and sometimes I will take him down to snuggle.

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Happy (early) birthday to me.

29 Dec

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New camera!

Secret Santa: My Story

25 Dec

When we decided to do an ebay secret Santa thing a few weeks ago, I immediately searched for an autographed naked poster of Queen Latifa in case I got David. No luck, but it didn’t matter because I ended up with Whitney, which I can say now that he opened his present. Whitney is not hard to shop for. He likes maps, board games, books, and he’ll wear anything. Unfortunately he’s almost impossible to embarrass, so a like-new butt plug to open in front of his family would have been wasted on him. Instead I went with something that would look nice on the pickle chair, teach him to cuddle, and occasionally cock block him.

I won two other items before winning that: a Camilla the chicken and a smaller Kermit. I learned that ebay is a dangerous place for impulsive online shoppers. Like Darcy, bidding made my heart race even when I was clearly the only bidder, I skipped meals, I couldn’t study. It was so awesome!

PS. David just texted me that I have another ebay package to look forward to. The magnet was a teaser. I hope it vibrates.

Secret Santa revealed!

25 Dec

Today is Christmas which means, among other things, I was finally allowed to open the present from my secret Santa. The participants were The Moderatalist, The Cheese Rind, and The Mad Nerdess. We had to buy our presents on ebay and blog about what we got. I was gifted with this very special magnet.

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The identity of my Santa was revealed in the gift, but I think I could have guessed. Only David truly understands my thing for underboob. Thanks, David! My dad’s reaction when I showed it to him: “That’s kind of unusual.” Indeed. I’d say it’s one of a kind. I think I will put her in charge of notes to myself on my fridge. I might even write them inside of talky bubbles. She will say things like “Lay off the pudding, fatty.”

This is nice. But my favorite present this year was the gift I sent myself on facebook: a date with Gerard Butler with a note that said, “I hear he likes you.”

Merry Christmas. Hope all of your shawl-collared dreams came true.

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I’m the one, the one for you.

21 Dec

Guess who’s playing in Buffalo on the 29th? I am so there. If you serenade me with this song in a bar I will pretend like I am not loving it. But I am.

I don’t think this has anything to do with Karma.

20 Dec

Today I missed my flight home. I hate when this happens because it gives my sister Katie proof that I do not have the skills I need to thrive on my own and at any given moment I’m about 10 minutes away from being homeless. Today doesn’t really count, though, because when I tried to leave my driveway at 11:15 my car battery was dead in my driveway. No big deal because I had plenty of time to get to the airport. I called AAA and an hour later a handsome bearded man jumped me (ha! I mean my battery) and I weirdly shoved a $5 tip at him when he was just trying to shake my hand. I am an awkward tipper. I made it out of the driveway at 12:15 in plenty of time for my 2:20 flight, except that my flight was at 1:20. Whoops! Just in time to watch my plane take off. I should be in BUF within 12 hours. I have snacks and free internet. This is not a terrible way to spend the day.

Sweater Thursday XII.

20 Dec

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I’ll be honest. Today I’m actually wearing the sweater featured in Sweater Thursday II but this is the sweater I wore on Tuesday. It is distinct because it was clean that day. I haven’t done any laundry since I went home for Thanksgiving. What are your thoughts on wearing black and brown together?

Congratulations, Sweater Thursday. You are three months old today. You can hold up your  head  now and with a little work we can get you to smile!