When we decided to do an ebay secret Santa thing a few weeks ago, I immediately searched for an autographed naked poster of Queen Latifa in case I got David. No luck, but it didn’t matter because I ended up with Whitney, which I can say now that he opened his present. Whitney is not hard to shop for. He likes maps, board games, books, and he’ll wear anything. Unfortunately he’s almost impossible to embarrass, so a like-new butt plug to open in front of his family would have been wasted on him. Instead I went with something that would look nice on the pickle chair, teach him to cuddle, and occasionally cock block him.
I won two other items before winning that: a Camilla the chicken and a smaller Kermit. I learned that ebay is a dangerous place for impulsive online shoppers. Like Darcy, bidding made my heart race even when I was clearly the only bidder, I skipped meals, I couldn’t study. It was so awesome!
PS. David just texted me that I have another ebay package to look forward to. The magnet was a teaser. I hope it vibrates.
jobonga 
Kermit has expressed an interest in coming to Boston for New Years. I’m worried he may get a little out of control though and end up passed out in an alleyway somewhere.
He can wear a pair of my hoops if he is so inclined.