A failure to learn from human history

What’s on her oatmeal?

I haven’t been sharing my summer with you. Why?

I don’t know. You know how I let important things get away from me. This has probably been my least relaxing summer ever. I’ve had a pretty cushy life and I feel entitled to lazy summers, so that’s not a very meaningful qualification. And yet I have back pain due to stress! Just like on TV.

I don’t really know where to start, so let’s start with breakfast.

A month ago I was eating blueberries (I picked exactly three pounds of them!) and a banana on my oatmeal. This morning I had cherries and a peach.

Animals of my recent past

Let me show you something gross

They’ve been moving some furniture around in the library and today I walked by a row of upside-down tables just like this one. COVERED IN GUM.

Is your faith in humanity appropriately rattled? This plus the booger incident is proof that communism can never succeed.

Who is doing this? Is it you? If these crimes are ever prosecuted, you’re going to feel really dumb about leaving your DNA and a perfect finger print at the scene.

There’s a frog at my typewriter.