What a bunch of asterisks!

11 Jun

You! Let’s try this thing again (again). I’ll go first. I moved to northern Virginia last weekend. After spending two months touring the Great Lakes region (Milwaukee! Chicago! Ann Arbor! Buffalo!) I now live in the greater DC area.

So far, outside of work, the only people I really interact with are mechanics and rental car associates, because of course I spend all of my free time getting my car to and from the mechanic. We have been to the mechanic twice. Tomorrow I will have lived here SEVEN days.*

So anyway, one of my pals in the rental car industry, a native of northern VA, told me that people from around here have a reputation for being unfriendly. I didn’t know that people from the greater DC area had a reputation for anything except for sitting in traffic and wearing suits, but now everyone seems impatient and irritated.** They are visibly disinterested in the second half of my sentences. Sometimes they answer their phones instead. So thanks for coloring my perception of this place with a fat black crayon, Doug from Enterprise. I am impressionable. Yes I will consider buying a used rental car from you. This pitch you are making sounds quite reasonable.***

*This car is ruining my life and holding me hostage but I don’t want to go into the details because I know you’re just going to turn on me for staying in this abusive relationship so long, when what I really need is a hug and three cold beers.

**I want to tell you about an exception: my new personal Armenian banker with the sculpted face manages to be both heartbreakingly earnest and super hot. Each time we bank, he says “I hope I have provided you with five star service” and I know if I asked him to take off his shirt he would do it. Everyone please send me small, shady-looking personal checks that I will have to enter the bank to cash.

***However, I will have to consult my personal Armenian banker first.

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4 Responses to “What a bunch of asterisks!”

  1. cinnamon tingle 06/12/10 at 7:44 am #

    Hug! And beers are on their way to you in a couple weeks! I know how hard it is to part with an old car. My clunker and I just celebrated 200,000 miles this week, but we couldn’t have done it without 4 years of close proximity to mechanically-inclined family members. I can’t imagine doing it alone. And it’s hard to trade in your old familiar complaints for a whole new metal pile of dysfunction that you’ll have to learn to understand. I hope you have time this weekend for a long bike ride to work off some car aggression!

  2. cinnamon tingle 06/12/10 at 7:46 am #

    ps — you are working on your themes right now! I like the font!

  3. cinnamon tingle 06/12/10 at 7:48 am #

    that was supposed to be “h1” font! angle brackets! (okay, I’m done comment-hogging now.)

  4. jobonga 06/12/10 at 9:03 pm #

    We will never make it to 200K. I am hoping for 115. Those beers! I can’t wait.

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