Moustaches Explained

16 Nov

It surprises me that I should have to enumerate the benefits of wearing false moustaches, but several people have asked me why I do it.

The scientific answer. Your evening will be at least 10% more fun (22% on average) than the same evening without whiskers. Everyone you encounter while will have at least 2% more fun.

The anecdotal evidence. I wore one on Saturday for W‘s birthday and the following things happened.

1. When I boarded a bus, a man stood up and applauded me.

2. When I made a routine trip to the bar bathroom, a guy shouted, “Chick with a ‘stache!” and the rest of his table threw up their arms and cheered for me. They cheered again when I returned from the bathroom.

stache

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2 Responses to “Moustaches Explained”

  1. KATIE 11/17/08 at 5:43 pm #

    Theory: An inverse relationship exists between “% Increase in Fun vs. % Decrease in Length of Night”

    Example: I had 28% more fun on Saturday…therefore the night seemed 28% shorter. I don’t like this.

    What can I do to remedy this JOBONGA?

  2. jobonga 11/18/08 at 12:38 am #

    I am not a scientist, but maybe you should try a string beard instead, which, while obviously still fun, might not be as fun as the moustache.

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