Re: poop

12 Sep

[Updated to Add:] The secret bathroom is now closed!

It’s possible that you’d rather not read this post. I did finally update my About page, and there’s nothing about diarrhea over there.

This note was taped to the door of the secret bathroom at work for about one hour on Wednesday before someone ripped it down. (It’s not really secret, but I used to not know about it.) I thought maybe “medical problem” was a euphemism for something like offensive farting or discarded heroin needles. Sarah documented it and did some sleuthing to find out what it was all about. Apparently someone has been smearing liquid poop all over the place and barfing in the lady boxes. It happened last semester, the bathroom was closed, and now the culprit is at it again. The janitor suspects he is being targeted because when he was away for a few weeks, it didn’t happen. Shawn proposed that maybe it’s like Fight Club and the janitor himself is doing it but he doesn’t know. Which is a funny idea.

I could leave you with that, but against my better judgment I’m going to keep sharing. Yesterday while at my desk, I suddenly felt barfy and my intestines rumbled ominously. I thought, Oh no I have a medical problem! and I booked it to the secret bathroom. Am I about to destroy this bathroom? Has it been me all along? Is the janitor going to catch me?

As far as I know I did not destroy it but I went home to recuperate and I will never use that cursed bathroom again.

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5 Responses to “Re: poop”

  1. Darcy 09/12/08 at 1:06 pm #

    secret camera or maybe just a secret microphone. espionage is called for.

  2. wb 09/12/08 at 2:42 pm #

    1. What exactly do you mean by “barfing in the lady boxes”?

    2. Would Veronica Mars take this case? And if so, who would she originally suspect was responsible, only to discover later that they had been framed by someone seemingly uninvolved but actually harboring a long standing grudge against said person?

  3. jobonga 09/12/08 at 9:28 pm #

    1. Please rephrase your first question. Is your real question “What is a lady box?”
    2. I think she would. It would be solved in one episode. I started season 3 about 3 minutes ago. Veronica just said douchebag-y.

  4. ngtamber 09/16/08 at 3:53 pm #

    Season 3 leaves me with a sinister unfinished business feeling… sorta like your story about this secret bathroom which is apparently still secret to me. And just to note, if I had a grudge against a janitor, I think I would find another way to get back at him without making myself look crazy or getting my hands so dirty.

  5. Martstarboard 09/18/08 at 7:39 am #

    I love the “(Same as last semester)” reference, you know, lest the note be confused by someone else who only just started smearing and puking THIS semester…

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