From Russia with Love

31 Jan

This weekend I am joining some bloggers (and their fans) in IKK. If you don’t have your airport codes memorized, that’s Kankakee, IL, or I Know Karate. I have listened to Willie Nelson all my life, but ten minutes ago is the first time I heard him mention Kankakee in City of New Orleans. As in “the train pulls out of Kankakee.” Lucia has promised a party bus, but she promises a lot of things. My only experience with what I consider a party bus was the perilous drive from Indiana to Rochester during a blizzard after a regatta that was a complete waste of time. The driver barely kept himself awake with Red Bull and jerky and he preferred to drive without the headlights on. There were no seatbelts. If I had forgotten my toothbrush it would have been my ultimate personal nightmare. But if I remember it correctly, we managed a very slight party atmosphere on the party bus despite the shadow of death: I shared M&Ms and body heat with The Cheese Rind under someone’s sleeping bag and there was a highly successful bout of homemade mad libs. So you could say my expectations of the party bus this weekend are pretty high.

I made myself a pile of mix cds for the solo drive from here to there.

  • Caution: Car Dancing, Vol. 1
  • Car Singing, Vols. 1-2
  • Sadface, Vols. 1-2
  • Boot Straps are Handles (left boot) and Boot Straps are Handles (right boot) [intended to uplift]
  • Bitter Old Hag

A song’s candidacy for Car Singing was determined by how well I know the words. It has no fewer than five Neil Diamond tracks. To qualify for Car Dancing, a song either obviously made me wiggle around while seated or it referenced dancing. The whole set pretty much covers my emotional range while driving. If there is a blizzard this weekend, I will rely on Bitter Old Hag to keep me angry and alert. I gave up jerky just as I was starting to understand it and I do not stoop to Red Bull ever. I actually only brought up the weather to segue into this public service announcement from my sister Meghan:

[A]lways remember frostbite sn’t funny. In Russia it is polite to stare at strangers on the street intensely when walking by to check them for frostbite and alert them if there is any on their face. You can use this as an excuse if you are caught staring…it makes an awkward moment so much ore normal. 

She’s never been to Russia, but she knows people.

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3 Responses to “From Russia with Love”

  1. wb001i 02/1/08 at 2:58 am #

    Two things:

    1. I think I still have those Mad Libs somewhere. I plan on bringing then to the IKK.
    2. One of the most awkward points in my life occurred at 7:15 AM the morning the said “party bus” made it back to Rochester, NY. We were about 12 hours late due to the blizzard we drove through, and the Red Bulled driver expected a a sizable tip for his extra time. Unfortunately for him I was responsible for paying him, and all I had was a University Purchase Order and a couple dollars in my wallet. I pretty sure he made inappropriate advances on at least 3 members of the women’s team though, so I figure we came out about even.

  2. jobonga 02/1/08 at 11:26 am #

    Oh, wb001i. How I miss you.

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