I haven’t been sharing my summer with you. Why?

I don’t know. You know how I let important things get away from me. This has probably been my least relaxing summer ever. I’ve had a pretty cushy life and I feel entitled to lazy summers, so that’s not a very meaningful qualification. And yet I have back pain due to stress! Just like on TV.

I don’t really know where to start, so let’s start with breakfast.

A month ago I was eating blueberries (I picked exactly three pounds of them!) and a banana on my oatmeal. This morning I had cherries and a peach.

They’ve been moving some furniture around in the library and today I walked by a row of upside-down tables just like this one. COVERED IN GUM.

Is your faith in humanity appropriately rattled? This plus the booger incident is proof that communism can never succeed.

Who is doing this? Is it you? If these crimes are ever prosecuted, you’re going to feel really dumb about leaving your DNA and a perfect finger print at the scene.

I am holed up in the basement of my building because of tornado sirens and a sky that looks like they mean it. It’s a familiar feeling that reminds me of my first weeks in Iowa. This time there is cable (Bill Murray’s Father’s Day marathon) and access to the washing machine. My first sheltering experience was crouched in the corner of the public library with my laptop. A guy next to me leaned over and asked me to check the radar online. So I found a national weather map and he said, “Click on Iowa”. And I had to say “Um, click where?” Because I didn’t know what my new state looked like, yet. I am telling you this because when my sisters came to visit me last weekend, they didn’t know where Iowa was either.

We stopped in THE WORLD”S LARGEST TRUCKSTOP for SNACKS and took advantage of a teaching moment among the merchandise. Meghan (of Michigan) and I were able to piece these state magnets together to give Katie enough geographical context to orient herself. Katie even helped a little with the Illinois border. She’s always been good with shapes. Lincoln looks pissed.

I will have to update later with more pictures because my camera is currently at risk of severe weather in my apartment. These are all Meg’s pictures and she is not in any of them. Just believe me that this is what we did.

1. Eat: pastries, burritos, nachos, pie milkshakes, cheese curds, tapas, pastries, in that order. Katie was made to face her fear of misshapen foods by trying cheese curds, a fear which I had no idea existed. Ultimately I think she felt betrayed because no one told her they would by squeaky when you bite into them. So now I guess she has a new aversion to squeaky foods. This is for Tony, from the attractively packaged bottle of the austere, sensible iced tea Obama drinks, Honest Tea.

2. Sleep: they both napped on Saturday while I sewed Katie some curtains. Three seams and it took me at least an hour because I kept sewing the fabric to itself and then threaded the machine wrong. Here we are measuring for them.

3. Watch movies.

4. Touch Katie’s pregnant body.

5. Cut my hair.

Stay tuned for Sister Weekend 2010.

For under $3, you can design your own bumper sticker. These are great times we live in.

I want to order this one for my car.

The only question is, whose phone number should I use?

I need something to replace Sweater Thursday. I will be experimenting with some new regular features to see what sticks. This one is called: What’s on her oatmeal?

I want to make this as significant and heart-wrenching as possible. This appropriately belated post is the last of Sweater Thursday as we currently understand it. Are you crying, yet?
I am out of sweaters. Fifty-two! That represents a year of weeks! And, written in roman numerals, a phonetically accurate rendering of my last name. That’s never happened before. (Except maybe last week.) Both great milestones to quit on. In fact, I don’t really have a fifty-second sweater to share. But I wanted to get there in spirit, so instead I asked other people to let me wear their sweaters and be photographed. They humored me. Behold.

LII.1
Mustard! She got it in a dollar bin! I am pretending to scan nothing.

LII.2
I am focused on not ripping the seams of this tiny cropped cardigan.

LII.3
I do not even attempt to button this one. You can tell I am at the desk of a superior because of the fancy chair.

LII.4
Finally, something bigger than me. My instinct was to zip this classic zip cardigan all the way up, and it was wrong.

LII.5
I helped cinnamon tingle move into a new place. This (marled? I wanted to call it marled.) sweater was on top of a pile so I helped myself. It’s blurry. I had three beers.

It’s okay if you want to relive it.

I didn’t wave any flags but I have officially lived here for two years and that was worth memorializing.

Two years ago I wrote somebody this email:

I ate lunch with a girl from class today named [cinnamon tingle]. I think we could be friends.

Aw. We went to my favorite bakery twice.

I brought my temporary charge and he tried to be so good.

Then we stopped at a garage sale and I bought a Choose Your Own Adventure book about space specifically for my bathroom.