They’ve been moving some furniture around in the library and today I walked by a row of upside-down tables just like this one. COVERED IN GUM.
Is your faith in humanity appropriately rattled? This plus the booger incident is proof that communism can never succeed.
Who is doing this? Is it you? If these crimes are ever prosecuted, you’re going to feel really dumb about leaving your DNA and a perfect finger print at the scene.
We introduced a Portlander to Breakfast Scrabble last weekend. He had a similar version called Inappropriate Scrabble, but house rules, you know? Or un-rules, I guess. He is taking it back to Portland, where Sweater Thursday has already taken root. I just know when I someday make it to Portland, there will be a welcoming committee waiting to hug me and and hand me a Voo-Doo donut.
Action item: what’s your favorite play?
Are you the person who looks or are you the person who thinks this question is gross?
[Updated to Add:] The secret bathroom is now closed!
It’s possible that you’d rather not read this post. I did finally update my About page, and there’s nothing about diarrhea over there.
This note was taped to the door of the secret bathroom at work for about one hour on Wednesday before someone ripped it down. (It’s not really secret, but I used to not know about it.) I thought maybe “medical problem” was a euphemism for something like offensive farting or discarded heroin needles. Sarah documented it and did some sleuthing to find out what it was all about. Apparently someone has been smearing liquid poop all over the place and barfing in the lady boxes. It happened last semester, the bathroom was closed, and now the culprit is at it again. The janitor suspects he is being targeted because when he was away for a few weeks, it didn’t happen. Shawn proposed that maybe it’s like Fight Club and the janitor himself is doing it but he doesn’t know. Which is a funny idea.
I could leave you with that, but against my better judgment I’m going to keep sharing. Yesterday while at my desk, I suddenly felt barfy and my intestines rumbled ominously. I thought, Oh no I have a medical problem! and I booked it to the secret bathroom. Am I about to destroy this bathroom? Has it been me all along? Is the janitor going to catch me?
As far as I know I did not destroy it but I went home to recuperate and I will never use that cursed bathroom again.
